Angry No More

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Trudy spent most of her life angry at God. It wasn’t until she had hit rock bottom that she began trusting Him, that she experienced true lasting change.

Her childhood was difficult to say the least. She watched her parents get divorced, lived with her drug addicted mother, and stayed in abandoned houses and cars. After years of this lifestyle, Trudy’s mother was sent to prison, so Trudy went to live with her father. In time, Trudy was a functioning alcoholic.

Trudy’s older brother taught her how to play guitar. This became a way to escape the harsh realities of life, and soon she got into music full time. She joined a band and played bars each night, which added to her alcoholism and introduced her to cocaine.

Trapped in a nightmare of addiction, Trudy welcomed three children into this tumultuous life. She recalls life on the snowy streets while pregnant, struggling to survive; having a son who was born with illness; living in her car; and recovering from a car accident.

Eventually this downward spiral led to losing custody of her children and unbearable heartache. She knew life needed to change, and began a journey to sobriety last November.

Finally Trudy’s brother brought her to Open Door Mission’s Lydia House. For months she had resisted this center, knowing their programs are Christ-centered. She was convinced that after all that had happened in her life, God must hate her. “I came here really angry at God, and I was not going to change my mind,” said Trudy.

That all changed one night, when inspired by the Scripture on the walls, Trudy began reading her Bible. She started with Psalm 6, went on to 7, 8, and countless more. “I felt then,” Trudy said, “like God was the only one who could save me. I said, ‘Look God, I’m really mad at You, but I really need You. So I just have to trust that You’re going to be good to me, and that You’re going to help me through this, because I am lost without You.’”

It soon became a dream come true. She joined the worship team, and now has the truths of those songs and Scripture in her heart. “Who knew I could worship Him in the most natural thing that comes to me?” Trudy said. “Music is a God-given blessing.”

The Open Door Mission staff have also been a blessing to Trudy, taking time for her and putting their energy and love into this place. Trudy’s dream is to one day help other addicts, especially those with multiple diagnoses like Trudy has. She now has custody of her youngest, and is close to getting her other son back.

“Once they brought God into it, my recovery became possible,” Trudy said. “Before I had all the need and all the reason in the world to get clean, but until I had opened my heart to Jesus, I had no will. Now a huge burden has been lifted off my heart.”

 

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