After years of battling my addictions and depression I found myself wondering how I ever got this bad and hopeless. This left me desperately thinking I needed a change, but how? When? Where? Then it hit m
e: I remembered this verse, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11. Which happens to be my favorite scripture verse. Suddenly I was weeping uncontrollably. Tears streaming down my face I felt shame, guilt, and broken wondering how I was going to break this vicious cycle. I remember sitting in the cafeteria, looking up at the wall above the food carts. I must have read the passage painted on that wall a hundred times. Every day I would read that and wonder “What plan, what future!?”
Humbled by my life and addictions, I felt called to join the New Life Recovery Program. I interviewed with Pat McKernan and was reminded at that moment that God does have plan and future for me. I thank God every day for the clarity that morning!
Also, as a Marked Man for Christ, I firmly believe Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron so one man sharpens another.” What I get from that will carry me on to bigger and better places.
So when you ask me what I learned from this program, all I can say in response to that question is if God is for us, who can be against us!?
I have contemplated over what I will do after graduation. I entertained the notion to go back into theater lighting and travel again. But after being here a little bit and wanting more for my sobriety and spirituality, that notion was replaced with ‘maybe I’m not ready for that yet.’
So, what do I plan to do after I graduate this program? After working in the learning center helping tutoring my fellow brothers, working in the kitchen, and being a resident aide on the emergency side of the Mission, my ambitions and views have changed. I want to surround myself around individuals like me that also want to desperately better themselves, just as as I do. This is a great deal of hard work for any one besieged with these addictions’ that we all share, and deal with on a daily basis. I ponder the idea of trying to get on board with the Mission and make a difference, and finally the Mission’s T.U.M.I. program which I am currently applying for as we speak.
New Life Recovery Program Graduate
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